I apologize for lateness, but here are some H2IP quotes from the imdb:
Pilot #2: Please find the emergency spill in the washroom at the back and release it!
Pilot #1: But do not unfasten your safety belt!
Flight Attendent: That's got 'em back to their seats.
Pilot #2: The emergency spill must be released!
Pilot #1: But do not leave your seats!
Pilot #2: Do not panic!
Pilot #1: Tea will be served.
Pilot #2: Inflate your lifejackets!
Pilot #1: And extinguish all cigarettes!
Pilot #2: Please remove the luggage from the racks above your heads and please it on the other side of the aircraft.
Pilot #1: Except for hand luggage...
Pilot #2: Which you should sit on!
Various: This ruthless concentration on one's self is a successful irritant widely practiced by women. A friend of mine once demonstrated this to me at a large party. He stood in the middle of the room and said very loudly, "The trouble with women is that they always take things personally." Four women immediately replied, "Well I Don't."
Various: Why would you want to watch this? It's a costume thing.
Old Women: Ooh! Well I never!
Various: I'm kicking myself.
is the entire Pilot Sketch, as taken from YouTube. And this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNQzHm0hvUw
is The Job Interview, from same. In fact, you can find a lot
of Python stuff on YouTube.