Register    Login    Forum    Search    FAQ

Board index » Monty Python Forums » Current




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 49 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: A splendid achievement - by Terry Jones
 Post Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 11:57 am 
Offline
Admin Overlord
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2003 4:34 pm
Posts: 908
Location: A dungeon on Viltvodle VI (UK)
Quote:
A splendid achievement

George Bush should be congratulated - he has surely earned the right to join the ranks of despots

Terry Jones
Tuesday October 10, 2006
The Guardian


Dear President Bush,

I write to you in my capacity as secretary of the World League of Despots.

It is with great pleasure that I am finally able to extend an official invitation to you to join our ranks. For many years, we have watched your efforts to fulfil the requirements necessary to join our number. From the start, we were greatly impressed by your disdain for democratic principles - the way you wrested power from the democratically elected candidate in the 2000 election, and again in 2005 when you managed to swing what was clearly going to be a victory for your opponent.

Contempt for human life has always been a priority requirement for membership of the league, and I and my fellow adjudicators were well aware of your record as governor of Texas when you quadrupled the number of state executions. But your record since seizing power has surpassed even our expectations. The thousands of innocent people in Iraq, who have died so that you could fulfil your declared political objective of establishing "an American force presence in the Middle East", attest to your eligibility to join our ranks.

I cannot, however, disguise the fact that we adjudicators were extremely anxious when you announced your intention to remove from office one of our most stalwart members, Mr Saddam Hussein. However, we need not have worried. According to a recent UN report, you have ensured that there are now even more human rights abuses in Iraq than there were under Saddam. No less than 10% of those in custody are being physically or psychologically abused. Well done!

Of course, your unstinting efforts to make torture an internationally accepted aspect of human life have surpassed everything we could have ever hoped for. I don't think there is a single member of the league who could have imagined, six short years ago, that our activities in tormenting our fellow creatures would once again be recognised as acceptable, civilised behaviour, as it once was in the middle ages.

Despite these achievements, we had, until now, felt unable to extend our invitation to you because you had been unable to fulfil one of our basic requirements: the ability to carry out arbitrary arrests, imprisonment without trial, secret torture and executions at will.

We approved of your attempts to establish the principles of arbitrary arrest under the Homeland Security Act of 2002, but unfortunately it was still restricted to terror suspects. We appreciate that you were hampered by the US constitution, but the restrictions this imposed on your arbitrary powers kept you below the threshold requirements for qualification as a despot.

Now, however, all that has changed. At the end of last month you persuaded the Senate to pass a bill regarding the treatment of detainees. Illegally obtained evidence can now be used against suspects, even if it has been gathered abroad under torture. Anyone you care to accuse can be thrown into prison without the right to a trial or the right to represent themselves.

Officially the legislation is restricted to "enemy combatants", but you have skilfully adapted this definition to include anyone who has "purposefully and materially supported hostilities against the US". This presumably means that anyone who publicly criticises your conduct can be defined as supporting hostilities to the US. You are now free to arrest and imprison anyone you don't like. You've got it in the bag!

It is with great pleasure that we in the World League of Despots note that you have now appropriated to yourself all the powers of arbitrary arrest and torture that Saddam once enjoyed. You are now one of us. Congratulations!

· Terry Jones is a film director, actor and Python http://www.terry-jones.net


The Guardian
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/story/0,,1891707,00.html


CF

_________________
----------------------
Cardinal Fang's Python Site
http://www.cardinalfang.net

Reply address is NEVER CHECKED. Contact me at "latinum" at "hotmail" dot "com".


Top 
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 12:10 pm 
Offline
Pythonesque
User avatar

Joined: Sun Mar 12, 2006 7:13 pm
Posts: 1429
Location: Germany
Yeah, I read it yesterday. Great article, and so true...

_________________
Image
... with GLC-9424075 (after 6 pm 9424047)!

Madeleine...


Top 
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 6:12 pm 
Offline
Major Looney
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jun 20, 2006 12:32 am
Posts: 874
Location: A sinkhole on Triton
Man, that's depressing. Depressing, but oh so true. Pray for America.

_________________
Splendid!

youtube.com/zestysk8er


Top 
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 9:08 pm 
Offline
Amazing Looney
User avatar

Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2005 4:25 am
Posts: 2369
Location: Aussie
go terry.

isnt it nice when you come across little python things like this.

there is going to be an interveiw with The John Cleese on A current affair tonight. that is for people who are in australia reading this. :lol:

_________________
If everything gets too much for you, and you feel the whole world is against you, go and stand on your head. If you can think of anything crazier to do, do it.

-- Harpo Marx


Top 
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 2:51 pm 
Offline
Junior Looney
User avatar

Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2006 7:14 pm
Posts: 40
Location: Antartica
Wow, that's a great article. It's really true..

_________________
And Now For Something Completely Different


Top 
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 3:22 am 
Offline
Senior Looney
User avatar

Joined: Fri Sep 01, 2006 6:40 am
Posts: 403
Location: Usually Barcelona (Spain), but I'm in London right now :)
Really good article

_________________
** Kiri in the Sky with Diamonds **


Top 
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 10:47 am 
Offline
Senior Looney
User avatar

Joined: Sat Mar 11, 2006 4:07 am
Posts: 142
Location: VA
Yeah. I agree. I cannot wait to get rid of him in the next presidential election.

_________________
Image


Top 
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 1:48 pm 
Offline
Looney Elite

Joined: Sun Feb 27, 2005 3:46 pm
Posts: 5458
electric penguin wrote:
Yeah. I agree. I cannot wait to get rid of him in the next presidential election.


i agree too. i just hope we don't put someone even worse into the office in '08.

_________________
So just shut your face, and take a seat
Cause after all, you're just talking meat


Top 
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 2:21 pm 
Offline
Major Looney
User avatar

Joined: Fri Feb 03, 2006 1:27 pm
Posts: 654
Location: England
gotta love him...
(terry - that is)

_________________
ooh look, an art critic.
ImageImage


Top 
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 3:11 pm 
Offline
Senior Looney
User avatar

Joined: Sat Mar 11, 2006 4:07 am
Posts: 142
Location: VA
Dennis wrote:
electric penguin wrote:
Yeah. I agree. I cannot wait to get rid of him in the next presidential election.


i agree too. i just hope we don't put someone even worse into the office in '08.


Me too. I thought of putting something to that effect in my original post, but it was too depressing. I don't see how we could put someone worse in office, but that doesn't mean they won't get into office. I'm old enough to vote this time, which I'm pleased about, for all the good it'll do.

_________________
Image


Top 
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 9:59 pm 
Offline
Major Looney
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jun 20, 2006 12:32 am
Posts: 874
Location: A sinkhole on Triton
hey me too! I turn 18 a few months b4 the election. lol I hope Hilary doesnt get in. That would be funny if Oprah ran, cuz she would totally win(not that I would vote for her. I wouldnt)

_________________
Splendid!

youtube.com/zestysk8er


Top 
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 10:04 pm 
Offline
Looney Elite

Joined: Sun Feb 27, 2005 3:46 pm
Posts: 5458
i turn 18 about a month after election day that year.

bet they won't let me vote >_<

_________________
So just shut your face, and take a seat
Cause after all, you're just talking meat


Top 
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
 
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 49 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

Board index » Monty Python Forums » Current


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

 
 

 
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron