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 Post subject: Things you've written
 Post Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 1:38 pm 
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Paranoid Android
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Location: Off with his head, man, off with his head...
This one's called "Death is in the house"

[Interior, an appartment bedroom in a house where a halloween party is being held, lots of smoke and beer cans. Four people are sitting on the floor one of them has his head down as if sleeping. The other 3 are wrapped up in a rather heated conversation. The whole scene takes place in a rather isolated room.]

Nick: (In a desperate tone) ...But we don't know that for sure.
Gregory : (Emphaticaly) We don't, but it arises as a rationalism conclusion.

[The room door opens and a skeletal figure with a cloak and scythe enters the room, no one seems to notice]

Nick: Rationalism, my ass... That's bollocks; You can't analyse emotions with rationalism.

[Death stands above the conversationalists; Still noone seems to notice]

Gregory: (lighting a cigarette) Everything can be analyzed and explained through the use of rationalism...
Peter : (Hesitantly) Well... Not EVERYTHING...
Gregory : Well... Ok, ok, maybe not everything; but most things can!!!

[Death stands still, grim as ever]

Peter : You can't just generalise like that!
Nick : For instance, one cannot put being in love into such categories...
Gregory: Why not?
Peter : For one, it's unstable
Nick : And that is it's basic difference from love; Love is eternal, perpetual, endless.

[Death is now beginning to lose his patience]

Peter: Oh, we don't know that either.
Gregory: Yeah, we don't know that.(using Peter's exact tone)

[Death opens his jaw to speak but Nick interrupts him]

Nick: (Somewhat irritated) Whad'dya mean we don't know it?
Gregory : He means that love can die!

[Death tries to speak again and is interrupted by Peter]

Peter: No, I mean that we do not know whether love keeps on living after our demise
Nick : Of course it does! Only Love can defeat Death...

[Death looks at Nick, surprised]

Gregory : (Triumphantly) Nothing can defeat Death!!!
Nick : (Irritated) Love can...
Death : (Hesitantly) Eh... I'm sorry...
Peter: (calmly) We don't know that for sure.
Gregory: Death is Immortal!
Death : May I say something?
Nick: Your nose is immortal, you dumb f**k!

[Death stares at Gregory's nose very carefully]

[Peter notices Death]

Peter: Sit down, mate, don't just stand like Death above our heads.

[Death sits, confounded]

Death: I'm sorry to interrupt you, I just came here to take care of some business
Gregory: What kind of business?
Death: An appendix in need of removal...
Nick: So, you' re a surgeon?
Death: What? No... Listen, about what you previously discussed... (excited)
Peter: Oh... So you have an opinion?
Death: Yes...(Hesitantly) I'm Charon you see and...
Nick: A surgeon named Charon? That must have your patients up and about in no time! (laughing)
Death: No, no. You don't understand I am Death, the Grim Reaper...
Gregory: (Springs up, shouting and looking like the spanish inquisition) BLASPHEMER!

[Nick and Peter sit Gregory back down]

Peter: Really? So, what is your opinion about what's been said?
Death: Well, it is true I am immortal...
Nick: (Interrupting) Oh, yeah? What about Sissifus? (agressively)

[Death loses his words for a second and then explodes into words]

Death: Literature sycophants, sad shelters used by your kind in order to mentally hide from my icy cold touch. A single flicker of light in my engulfing darkness, a mere wax candle with a short wick to guide you through my bone drenching tempest. A single cloth to shield your eyes against my lipless smile...

Gregory: (with disdain) What is this person saying?
Peter: Come on the man is obviously ignorant.
Nick: Well, a surgeon can't be expected to have philosophy knowledge...
Death: (angrily) I am NOT a surgeon, I AM DEATH!
Gregory: (agressively) Are you? Then what are you doing here?
Death: (Calms down) Isn't tis the residence of one Nickolas Ashle?
Nick: Yeah, that's me.

[Death rises brandishing his scythe]

Death: (in an imposing tone) I have come for you
George: (as if rising from a long deep sleep) Ahhhh... don't spoil the fun dude, it's still 23:30
Death: But.. but I am being serious.
George: C'mon, man, relax... Sit down listen to the music (Porcupine tree), lay down your feet. Here... Have a joint.

[Death takes the joint and sits back down, lights it, takes a few puffs and then as if suddendly remembering an appointment with his dentist rises up hastily and gives the joint back to George]

Death: I... I'm sorry. I need to get going.

[Opens the door and leaves the room, the camera follows him and voices are heard through the just-now closed door]

Nick: Strange fella
Gregory: Yeah, a bit off the handle, but I liked him in the end.
Peter: Uh-huh. Mmmm

[Death steps out into the road, coming from behind him is a tall big headed, hawk nosed guy with a trenchcoat and black glasses (although it is night). The guy reaches with his arm and grabs Death's shoulder who faces him kinda frightened and confused]

Death: Ah?
Detective Lowe: Mr. Charon or Death, also known as The Grim Reaper or the Black Riding Hood?
Death: Um... Yes.
Detective Lowe: You're knicked me beauty!
Death: What?
Detective Lowe: You are under arrest, bub
Death: ??? With what charges?
Detective Lowe: Stalking and taking the lives of countless living beings throughout our known history and since the beginning of time...
Death: It's a fair copper. I confess... But you'll never take me alive!
Detective Lowe: Oh, alright, then (takes out a gun and shoots at Death who falls down into a heap)
Death: Arrghh... Damn you high unemployment rate... Check please.

[Agent Lowe searches Death's cloak and discovers a veeeery long list of names (some of them crossed out), he examines it and reads the first of the not crossed names out loud]

Detective Lowe: Hmm, Nickolas Ashle, heh? Must be a partner in crime... Hmmm...

[Sets out for the house...]

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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 1:49 pm 
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Looney Elite

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nice...


reads like it could be Python :)

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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 1:54 pm 
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Location: Off with his head, man, off with his head...
yeah. One cannot just hide his influences I guess :lol:

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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 2:04 am 
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Amazing Looney
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Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2005 4:25 am
Posts: 2369
Location: Aussie
so what does this "things you've written" topic tend to include? can it be poems...

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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 3:13 am 
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Location: Off with his head, man, off with his head...
Sure. Why not?

Thought there is another thread called "Poetry..." :D

Your choise.

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 Post Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 3:41 am 
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Major Looney
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Location: Hell is where the heart is
Jinxy, hey i like it :D 8)
And a good topic too.

My things are in croatian so, you wouldn't understand.

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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 4:25 am 
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Location: Off with his head, man, off with his head...
Yeah and mine in Greek but I went to the trouble of translating them :P

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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 5:25 am 
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Major Looney
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Joined: Tue May 22, 2007 4:20 am
Posts: 504
Location: Hell is where the heart is
You ruined my good excuse now :roll:

:P

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... I reached for your hand again
In the dark
Your hand was the light
But my hand sank through
And I whispered your name
in silence
Come back
Be mine ...


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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 9:11 am 
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Location: Off with his head, man, off with his head...
Hehe.
That's what I'm here for... :wink:

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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Sat Jul 28, 2007 3:24 am 
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Amazing Looney
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Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2005 4:25 am
Posts: 2369
Location: Aussie
aww. now im nervous.

I want to post mine but I dont.

:?

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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Sat Jul 28, 2007 5:50 am 
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Location: Off with his head, man, off with his head...
fogchicken wrote:
aww. now im nervous.

I want to post mine but I dont.

:?


Pffft. :P

Go ahead it can't be worse than mine :lol:

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 Post Posted: Sat Jul 28, 2007 6:54 am 
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Location: Off with his head, man, off with his head...
This one is called: "What if conscription was abolished?" and it is dedicated to Raven, the first of my mates to do his military duty. 2 years later it was my turn...

[A young long haired man opens his house door as the doorbell is ringing. Cypress Hill's "Temples of Boom" plays in the background.
Standing in Lefteris's doorledge is a thin rat-faced, clean shaven man with glasses, holding a briefcase]

Recruiter: Good Morning! (Smiles openly, revealing two rows of bright white, perfect teeth)
Lefteris: (Looks at him uninterested, with a sort of "let's get this over with" attitude) Gooooooooooood morning, how may I help you?
R: He he (smiles wider) I was directed here by your local military department and I would like to...
L: (Grabs the recruiter's nose and barks lightly) woof! woof! Daaaaaaamn hellcats! Schooo!! Schoo!!
R: (Confused) Yes, yes I would like to talk to you about the advantages you could have if and in the case...
L: (Puts his thumbs up his nostrils) Squak! Squak! Captain! The woodpeckers have infiltrated the spaceship's hull!
R: (A bit numb) Have you ever considered your career within the glorious ranks of our glorious national army? The opportunities presented to you in this department...
L: (politely) I'm terribly sorry, would you excuse me? (gathers up some phlegm and spits inside the house) Cooooooooooooontinue.
R: (Slightly disgusted) The armed forces of our country desire and are in need of trustworthy and wholy honourable individuals in order to assemble the army of the future which will be able to defend us and divert any sneak attempt of any enemy who is lusting over our holly grounds...
[Lefteris is walking around in circles like a chicken, going "Bwakawk!" and pretending he's pecking at worms]
R: But, but, what are you doing? Come now, Be serious. I feel certain that once you have joined the glorious ranks of the Greek army you will be presented with the opportunity to artistically and creativelly express yourself.
L: (Straightens out abruptly and looks at the man with surprise) You mean Art school classes have been finally intergrated into our army's basic training?
R: Oh, but of course, the sophistication of our country's guardians as a group included individual has always been a non negotiable thesis of the goverment and the independent military leadership.
L: Is that so? I 've heard that your brand new, out-of-fashion, single coloured cannons can demolish nearly everything, is that true?
R: Well, the fact remains that the newly acquired system of telebole B-670 that has been introduced in our country by our friend and ally Germany, is in fact capable of smiting targets positioned in the depths of the country which would dare to offend our grounds.
L: Oh, tricky business offending a ground... I 've been trying to piss off my garden for an entire month and he just kept ignoring me.
R: My dear, sir, what you fail to realise is that the Eastern enemy is arming and training himself with a sole dream and purpose, to defile with his unclean feet this holy soil.
L: Ehh, asphalt...
R: ...This holy asphalt. Numberless monstrous cannons are being manufactured in his secret underground war factories, hordes of skilled assasins and rapists are being trained in his camps, his vile airoplanes are able to cover our entire blessed blue skies but NO!
L: NO!
R: Never again shall the Turk tyrant be able to defile the homeland.
L: Why?
R: Huh?
L: Why not train rabid penguins?
R: Huh?
L: I am, personally, particularly fond of these cute, cuddly, trendy two coloured bipedals which usually serve coffee in the local caffeterias, wearing their multi-coloured glasses that go rather nicely with their tender, if a bit outdated, top hats.
R: Are you pulling my leg?
L: Look, what saddens me in particular about war is the unadultered slaughter of innocent and pure creatures like say, horsies, doggies, squirrels and wormies. (licks his lips)
R: One must take into consideration War's basic principles; The enemy's animals are also considered hostile and thus must be eliminated as well.
L: (Disbelieving) You jest, of course.
R: Not at all. You must have certaintly heard of Captain Demopoulos's incident which occured in the 1921-22 war.
L: No, I haven't and I'm not certain whether I want to.
R: Well, when our glorious army liberated Smyrni it proceeded towards the inland in order to assure there would be no retaliation from the Turk guerrilas over the prospering greek population. Captain Demopoulos, who was in charge over an artillery company, had made his camp 12 miles west of the Saggary river. So while his troops were hunting down the cowardly guerillas behind the mountains, a horde of wild camels attacked the camp, howling and destroying the unit's portable kitchen. The result was that the company could not recieve it's rations that day and thus were forced to pillage and rape a nearby Turkish village. On the following morning, the Captain pursued the impertinent camels and annihilated them.
L: You mean he killed them? Why?
R: My dear young boy, it seems you are not familiar with the ways of the modern army. Those camels were blind fanatical followers of the bloodthirsty Kemal, and they were most assuredly members of the Communist Party.
L: I assume you take me for an idiot; you don't expevt me to believe, of course, that such an independently thinking being as a camel would be a member of the communist party? On the contrary, I have an unshaken belief that they were Anarchists and loyal supporters of Bakounin. A Flamingo, yes, that I believe, most of my Flamingo friends are marxists, and all my aardvark friends tend to Trotski in an unforgivable manner.
R: So, you are, in fact, in a position to recognise what is beneficial for your country, and I do believe you are willing to act upon that recognition, am I right?
L: Is this a trick question?
R: (Not paying him any attention) ...And thus you are willing to enlist, I believe. I have here the documents that need to be filled by your person. (Opens the briefcase and hands out a bunch of papers to Lefteri). I shall be knocking on your door soon enough so that we might have another lovely little chat and answer any possible questions.
L: Under the current circumstances, au revoir, and I know how to spell my name.
R: Have faith in the nation and the national ideals my most promising young man. May enthusiasm fill your soul as well as those of the others of your age serving in the ranks of our armed forces. (Leave)
[Lefteris closes the door. A tall bearded, long haired dude enters from the living room]

Giannis: What up? Took you THAT long to get rid of him?
Lefteris: Yeah, the motherfucker busted my balls to freak him out!
G: Oh, f**k. I bet he 'll be back tommorow.
L: Well, it's your turn to freak him out, tommorow, dude.
[Fade out]

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