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 Post subject: Tolkien's Flying Circus
 Post Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2005 10:41 am 
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Major Looney
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To give you a general idea:


Questions in the dark

Gollum: "The hobbit must have a competition with us, my precious... if it asks us a riddle, and we don't know the answer, we show it the way out, won't we, my precious."
Bilbo: "OK. I'll start. What is the capital of Assyria?"
Gollum: "We doesn't know that! We wants five (three) guessess! AAaargh"

Frodo: I cannot read the fiery letters. Gandalf, you're our scholar.
Gandalf: But I can. The letters are Arameic, and the language is Arameic as well. I will not utter it here, but in common English it says:
"One ring to rule them all
One ring to find them
One ring to bring them all
And in the darkness bind them
In the land of Aaaargh..."
Well that's what is says.
Sam: He must have died while forging it.
Frodo: Shut up. Where is Aaargh, Gandalf?


Nazgûl: And this wizard of whom you speak, he has seen the ring?
Saruman: He knows of a land, which no man yet has entered.
Nazgûl: And the ring, it is there?
Saruman: There the Halflings dwell.
Nazgûl: And the halflings have the ring?
Witch-king: There is only one thing to do: find the halflings and take the ring.
Two things we must do. First locate the halflings, and second kill them and take the ring.
Amongst our assignments are such diabolical plots as finding the halflings, breaking their spirits, slaughtering them, and obtaining the one ring. Have you got that?
Nazgul: Yes, mylord.

To read more like this, visit http://www.geocities.com/montypythonmuseum/jrrtfc.html

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 Post Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 9:17 am 
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good stuff...I think Wesley Snipes should play Gandalf


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 Post Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 11:20 am 
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In fact, this sort of stuff applies to lots of movies. Take for example:

John Hammond: Hello, I would like to buy a dinosaur licence please.
Alan Grant: A what?
John Hammond: A licence for my pet dinosaur, Alan.
Alan Grant: How did you know my name was Alan?
John Hammond: Nonono, my dinosaur's name is Alan. Alan the dinosaur. Hesaraptor.
Alan Grant: A what?
John Hammond: He is, a velociraptor.
Alan Grant: You've got a pet velociraptor?!?!
John Hammond: Yes, I cloned him out of thousands. Didn't like the others. They were all too herbivore.
Alan Grant: You must be a loony...
John Hammond: I am not a loony! Why should I be tarred with the epithet 'loony' merely because I have a pet dinosaur? We extracted DNA from blood sucked by mosquitoes millennia ago, mosquitoes that we found caught in amber.
Alan Grant: Alright, alright, alright... A licence?
John Hammond: Yes.
Alan Grant: For a velociraptor?
John Hammond: Correct.
Alan Grant: You are a loony.
John Hammond: Look, I've got a licence for my pet tyrannosaurus rex Alan and I've got a licence for my pet triceratops Alan.
Alan Grant: You don't need a licence for your triceratops!
John Hammond: What's this then?
Alan Grant: This is a dog licence with the word 'dog' crossed out and 'triceratops' written in crayon.
John Hammond: The man didn't know the right form.
Alan Grant: What man?
John Hammond: The man from the dinosaur detector van.
Alan Grant: How much did you pay for this?
John Hammond: 80 quid, and 50 for the brachiosaurus.
Alan Grant: What brachiosaurus?
John Hammond: Alan the brachiosaurus.
Alan Grant: Are all your dinosaurs called Alan?
John Hammond: There's nothing so odd about that...






A theory on chaos, by Ian Malcolm.

An appeal for choas, by the mathematician Ian Malcolm.



Ian Malcolm: It has come to my attention that many parks are through no fault of their own, organised. It is up to people like Nedry and me, who advocate chaos theory, to help these parks overcome their organisation. You can start in small ways by shutting down a few systems on the computer and stealing embryos and try to make off for the mainland. Then you can cut all power systems and let all of the dinosaurs escape. Then you can make them come after you going RRROARR, GRAAAOOR...

Ian Malcolm is a mathematician and chaos theorist.

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 Post Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 11:49 am 
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how about Star Wars
Han Solo:Darth Vadar..I was sitting on an astoroid belt just now and
when I took off I found that my wallet had been stolen and
15 pounds had been taken.
Darth Vadar:Did you see anyone in the nearest galaxy?
Han Solo:No.No one
Darth Vadar:Well there's not much I can do about that.
Han Solo:Oh dear...(long pause) Do you want to come back to my place?
Darth Vadar:(another pause) Yes alright.


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 Post Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 11:58 am 
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hehe...funny idea..darth vader and han solo..hee...and a little bit suspect i think :lol: :lol: :lol:

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 Post Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 12:19 pm 
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hakrista wrote:
hehe...funny idea..darth vader and han solo..hee...and a little bit suspect i think :lol: :lol: :lol:

Dear Sir,
I wish to complain about that last comment about my Star Wars
sketch being 'a little bit suspect' and would like to point out that I only go to gay bars beacuse the lighting is so much nicer.Further more I feel more comfortable in women's clothes and had to marry a man because there was a mix up at the church.
Yours sincerely
Johan Sebastian Panties (mrs)


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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 12:45 pm 
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I´m sorry if i hurt your feelings by calling your Star wars scetch " a little bit suspect" i should have call it surrealistic..I am sorry about this emarrising mistake..i am so ashamed I wont do it again.but if it can make you fell better,I also prefer womans clothes...
...and by the way,Im not a Sir...
your sincerely miss Hakrista

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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 12:54 pm 
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hakrista wrote:
I´m sorry if i hurt your feelings by calling your Star wars scetch " a little bit suspect" i should have call it surrealistic..I am sorry about this emarrising mistake..i am so ashamed I wont do it again.but if it can make you fell better,I also prefer womans clothes...
...and by the way,Im not a Sir...
your sincerely miss Hakrista
Hey!!! I was just fooling around with another Monty Python sketch....don't take it serious...are you new to Monty Python???I don't really dress up in women's clothes...why,I'm not even gay!!! No feelings hurt at all my Norwegian friend...


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 Post Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 12:56 pm 
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adrian, adrian,adrian...do you really want to do this?

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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 1:02 pm 
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what's going on?


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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 1:04 pm 
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hehe....great... actualy,I wasn´t taking it serious..just joking...( i just tried to be i little bif funny, but that isn`t my strongest side..i think i shouldjust leave it off from now..)....
:D

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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 1:05 pm 
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hakrista wrote:
hehe....great... actualy,I wasn´t taking it serious..just joking...( i just tried to be i little bif funny, but that isn`t my strongest side..i think i shouldjust leave it off from now..)....
:D
nice one :D you got me 8)


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