Quotes from the Wee Free Men. I love that book.
"Zoology, eh? That's a big word, isn't it."
"No, actually it isn't," said TIffany.
"Patronizing is a big word. Zoology is really quite short."
Miss Tick sniffed. "You could say this advice is priceless," she said. "Are you listening?"
"Yes," said Tiffany.
"Good. Now... if you trust in yourself..."
"...and believe in your dreams..."
"...and follow your star..." Miss Tick went on.
"...you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy. Goodbye."
Tiffany: "You're very yellow for a toad."
Toad: "I've been a bit ill."
Tiffany: "And you talk."
Toad: "You only have my word for it."
Tiffany: "Witches have animals they can talk to, called familiars. like your toad there."
Toad: "I'm not familiar. I'm just slightly presumptuous."
Stories like this stopped people thinking properly, she was sure. She'd read that [fairy tale] and thought, Excuse me? No one has an oven big enough to get a whole person in, and what made the children think they could just walk around eating people's houses in any case? And why does some boy too stupid to know a cow is worth a lot more than five beans have the right to murder a giant and steal all his gold? Not to mention commit an act of ecological vandalism? And some girl who can't tell the difference between a wolf and her grandmother must either have been as dense as teak or come from an extremely ugly family.
Tiffany was on the whole quite a truthful person, but it seemed to her that there were times when things didn't divide easily into "true" and "false", but instead could be "things that people needed to know at the moment" and "things that they didn't need to know at the moment".
Tiffany: "What are these?"
Toad: "Oh, doak! Grimhounds! Bad! Eyes of fire and teeth of razor blades!"
Tiffany: "What should I do about them?"
Toad: "Not be here?"
Kelda: "Ye ken how to be strong, do ye?"
Tiffany: "Yes, I think so."
Kelda: "Good. D'ye ken how to be weak? Can ye bow to the gale, can ye bend to the storm?"
No words could describe what a Feegle in a kilt looks like upside down, so they won't try.
And I'm in Fairyland, where dreams can hurt. Somewhere all stories are real, all songs are true. I thought that was a strange thing for the kelda to say...
Tiffany's Second Thoughts said: Hang on, was that a First Thought?
And Tiffany thought: No, that was a Third Thought. I'm thinking about how I think about what I'm thinking. At least, I think so.
Her Second Thoughts said: Let's all calm down, please, because this is quite a small head.
The anger came back. She'd nearly been fooled! She looked at the cheese knife. "Be a sword," she said...
There was a clang.
"Correction," said Tiffany. "Be a sword that isn't so heavy."
Even in a dream, even at a posh ball, the Nac Mac Feegle knew how to behave. You charged in madly, and you screamed... politely.
"The thing about witchcraft," said Mistress Weatherwax, "is that it's not like school at all. First you get the test, and then afterwards you spend years findin' out how you passed it. It's a bit like life in that respect."
Granny Weatherwax: "It's virtually a pointy hat. No one else will know it's there. It might be a comfort."
Tiffany: "You mean it just exists in my head?"
Granny Weatherwax: "You've got lots of things in your head. That doesn't mean they aren't real."